Episode 248: Finding Your Purpose in a Noisy World — Self-Discovery, Faith & Growth with Flabia Orison

Purpose is a journey, not a destination

TL;DR

• To hear yourself, you first need to quiet the noise.
• Noise can be your ego, other people's opinions or the expectations you place on yourself.
• Anchor yourself to something bigger than you, not to a job or a relationship.
• Your why can change over time. Have a direction, but enjoy the steps in between.
• Flabia's one daily habit for everyone is gratitude.

Introduction

I came across Flabia Orison through a reel the algorithm put in front of me, and I knew straight away I wanted to get her on the show. Flabia is South Sudanese by background and lives in Melbourne. She has worked across local government and other sectors, served in her community with youth engagement and South Sudanese mothers, and is building her business, Transcend Beyond the Scope.

She describes herself as an off-the-script person, so we let this one flow. We talk about purpose, what noise really is, faith, the village mentality and the habits that helped her get to know herself.

Please note: this blog shares Flabia's personal experiences and views, including her Christian faith. It's for general information only and isn't professional or mental health advice.

Lesson 1: Purpose requires silencing the noise

Insight: I asked Flabia whether people are struggling more with purpose, or just talking about it more. Her answer was that finding your why requires silencing the noise. People think being an athlete or a musician is their purpose, but she says the purpose is in how you use that gift.

She also thinks the word purpose can feel heavy and loaded. It requires self-reflection and truth searching, and that takes time, energy and the right headspace. In her words, she's narrating her story as she goes.

Action: Take 10 minutes offline this week with a journal, and write about what feels right for you right now.

Outcome: You start hearing your own voice under all the noise.

Lesson 2: Know what your noise is

Insight: For Flabia, noise can be your ego, other people's opinions or expectations, whether they're your own or ones others put on you. Anything that removes you from yourself is noise you need to silence.

That doesn't mean ignoring people. She says people are mirrors, and listening to them can help you define your purpose. But without a strong sense of self, other voices can cloud your judgment. Offline time helps you tell the difference between someone affirming what you already know and someone projecting onto you.

Action: Write down three sources of noise in your life right now, and one way to turn each down.

Outcome: You become more discerning about which voices you let in.

Lesson 3: Sit with your emotions

Insight: Flabia's faith grounds her. She prays, reads the Bible and journals on it, because she thinks the world is so fast-paced that we don't sit with things long enough. In those offline moments, she can show up as whatever she is, whether that's joy, anger or frustration.

I've been doing something similar, writing down emotions like anger or jealousy and spending time with them to understand why they're there. It releases tension, because you often realise it doesn't matter. Flabia's advice is to find a channel to release what you feel, whether that's art, poetry, music or humour.

She shared a story about a passive-aggressive message she received after going quiet on someone. Instead of reacting, she looked at it objectively and realised nobody knew what was going on with her. She believes we can't avoid misunderstandings, so conflict resolution is the skill to work on.

Action: Next time a strong emotion comes up, write it down, and ask why it's there before reacting.

Outcome: You become less reactive and better at seeing the other person's side.

Lesson 4: Anchor yourself to something bigger

Insight: When the noise is loud, it's easy to think a new job or relationship will fulfil you. Flabia says those things don't truly ground you. Once you quiet the noise, you can anchor yourself to something greater than yourself. For her, that's God, but she thinks the same principle applies whatever you believe in.

She also says feelings are fleeting. If she jumped on every opportunity because she felt like it, she'd jump back out when the feeling faded. A deeper why gets you through those temporary phases.

When I asked about prayer, Flabia described it as a conversation with God, where she can be her most honest, unfiltered self. I'm not religious, but I think it's similar to meditation. A lot of people give up on meditation because they think they need a quiet mind straight away. Having that internal dialogue can be a better way in.

Action: Ask yourself what grounds you when everything else feels uncertain.

Outcome: You build a foundation that doesn't change with your mood.

Lesson 5: Let your why change

Insight: In personal training, I get people to ask themselves "why" five times to get to the truth. Flabia agrees exercises like that help, but she says to leave room for growth and discovery. Purpose isn't a single, fixed destination.

I've noticed that some advice treats your why as set in stone. But you might find purpose in modelling, achieve it and move on. Flabia added that the opportunity might have put you in a room with someone who changed your direction. Her view is that you need both: a sense of direction, and openness to the nuggets along the way.

Her current purpose is sharing her gifts with the world and helping people trust their own voice. She has learnt to stop having a hundred tabs open and focus on one thing first.

Action: Write down where you're heading, then list one unexpected opportunity that's come up along the way.

Outcome: You keep moving forward without missing what's in front of you.

Lesson 6: Bring back the village

Insight: From 2021 to 2023, Flabia lived in South Sudan, her first time back since she was three. She saw how community-oriented life is there. Your neighbour can take care of your child, even if they're from a different tribe, and everyone is accountable to each other.

In Australia, I think we can be too individual, and that village mentality could be a missing key to longer, happier lives. Flabia says her community in Melbourne is reconnecting in a meaningful way, helping young people know their roots and respect their elders.

She gave a simple example. If she saw Melbourne as her village, she wouldn't litter, because it's her home. To build this in younger generations, she says it starts early, with teachers and parents, and in everyday moments like how we treat people at the local shops.

I think listening is a dying skill. Flabia agrees that people often listen to respond rather than understand, so we need new ways to connect.

Action: Have one conversation this week where your only goal is to understand the other person.

Outcome: You strengthen the village around you.

Lesson 7: Five things that helped Flabia know herself

Insight: I asked Flabia for five things that helped build her self-awareness:

1. Don't run away from bad feelings, and take full ownership of your story. She says nobody can shame you for a story you embrace.
2. Don't be fixed on the destination. Leave room for growth.
3. Have offline moments. Journal, meditate or pray.
4. Spend time alone and learn to be a friend to yourself, so you can trust your intuition.
5. Speak life. If she could get every Australian to do one thing a day, it would be kindness and gratitude, whether that's a compliment to your kids, yourself in the mirror or the person serving you at the supermarket.

She has tried gratitude prompts that didn't work for her. What works is expressing gratitude in her own words. Sometimes that's writing, sometimes it's speaking out loud on a walk, and sometimes it's just being still.

Action: Give one genuine compliment today, and say one thing you're grateful for out loud.

Outcome: You build a habit that lifts you and the people around you.

Quick wins

• Take a walk with nothing in your ears.
• Write down an emotion before reacting to it.
• Ask why five times, but let the answer change.
• Listen to understand, not to respond.
• Speak life by giving one genuine compliment a day.

Closing insight

Flabia's message is that purpose isn't something you find once and keep forever. It's something you build by quieting the noise, anchoring yourself to something bigger and staying open along the way. Through all of it, she comes back to the village. We're not only accountable to ourselves, and kindness is a simple place to start.

Connect with Flabia

You can find Flabia on Instagram and on LinkedIn.

Listen to the full episode

The full conversation is on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and YouTube, or press play at the top of this page.

Related episodes: How Comedy Can Build Confidence, Crush Fear and Help You Find Your Voice and The Truth About Influencing, Growth, Purpose and Self-Discovery