You Won’t Find Your Purpose Until You Quiet the Noise

Flabia on stillness, anchoring yourself and why your purpose doesn't have to be fixed

TL;DR

• Quieting the noise through time alone and journaling makes you less reactive.
• Jobs and relationships can't anchor you on their own. Flabia anchors herself in her faith and something greater than herself.
• Feelings are fleeting, so they aren't a why. A real why carries you through the days you don't feel like it.
• Your purpose can change from season to season. Have a direction, but enjoy the steps in between.

Introduction

This is a short clip, about 10 minutes, from my conversation with Flabia Orison. We'd already talked about how to quieten the noise through journaling, time alone and quiet moments. Flabia says those habits make you less reactive, and better able to see things from someone else's point of view.

I'd seen her talk on LinkedIn about helping people find their anchor points, so that's where we picked up. Once you've quietened the noise, what do you anchor yourself to?

Lesson 1: Anchor yourself to something deeper

Insight: When the noise is loud, Flabia says it's easy to think the next job or relationship will make you feel fulfilled. But those things don't truly ground you. For her, quieting the noise brings her back to herself, to her faith and to God, something greater than her. From there, she wants to live in a way that goes beyond serving herself.

Action: Spend 10 minutes journaling about what you lean on when life feels shaky. Ask whether it truly grounds you.

Outcome: You start to see the difference between distractions and real anchors.

Lesson 2: Purpose needs meaning to last

Insight: Flabia believes we should give creative work more credit. She mentioned a friend who runs a barber shop. He knows it's downtime for the men who come in, and that it creates a safe space and an experience beyond the haircut. That meaning is what makes it sustainable. Without it, she says, you'll keep jumping from one thing to the next.

The same goes for doing something because someone you admire said you should. If you're doing it for them, it won't hold.

Action: Pick one thing you do regularly and write down the meaning behind it, beyond the task itself.

Outcome: Everyday work feels more purposeful and easier to sustain.

Lesson 3: Feelings aren't a why

Insight: Feelings are fleeting, Flabia says. If you jump into every opportunity because it feels good, you'll jump straight back out when the feeling fades. How you feel about something isn't your why.

If empowering people starts to feel taxing one day, knowing it's part of her calling helps her recognise it as a temporary phase rather than a sign to quit.

Action: Next time you don't feel like doing something important to you, remind yourself why you started.

Outcome: You keep going through the low days instead of quitting on a feeling.

Lesson 4: Let your purpose evolve

Insight: With my clients, I often ask "why" five times to get to the real reason behind a goal. Flabia says exercises and insights from others are useful, but the desire to search for your why will lead you to the right place. It's a journey, not a single fixed destination.

She gave the example of someone who's been in modeling for two years and starts to feel it's run its course. It's not anger. It just feels like the end of a season. In that case, let it transition out and come back to your why. Maybe that season put you in a room with the right person and opened a new door.

She also says some people need structure and a clear plan, while others prefer discovery. You need both. Know where you're heading, but don't be so fixed on the destination that you miss the lessons along the way. That's where you really grow.

Action: Have an "offline conversation" with yourself this week. Ask whether your current path still feels right, or whether a season is ending.

Outcome: Change feels like growth rather than failure.

Quick wins

• Spend 10 minutes in quiet time or journaling today.
• Ask "why" five times about one of your goals.
• Write down the meaning behind your work.
• Notice one small opportunity you'd normally ignore, like a chat with a stranger.

Closing insight

You won't find your purpose by chasing the next thing. Quieten the noise, anchor yourself in something deeper and give yourself permission to change direction when a season ends.

Listen to the full episode

The full conversation is on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and YouTube, or press play at the top of this page.

Related episodes: Finding Your Purpose in a Noisy World with Flabia Orison and Practice Beyond the Pose with Vahid Coskun