Why You’re Doing Everything Right… and Still Not Feeling Better: The Truth About Stress & Lifestyle Medicine with Dr Nupur Nag

Lifestyle medicine researcher Dr Nupur Nag on stress, the eight pillars and lasting behaviour change

TL;DR

• You can eat well and train hard and still get sick if stress goes unchecked. Both Nupur and I learned that the hard way.
• The eight pillars are nutrition, movement, sleep, stress management, cognitive engagement, social connection, spirituality and altruism.
• In one of Nupur's studies, benefits built up the more pillars people worked on, and they needed at least three to see an effect.
• Small, consistent changes beat restriction. A 15-minute walk or naming three things you're grateful for counts.

Introduction

Dr Nupur Nag is a researcher who studies how lifestyle affects the prevention and management of neurological conditions, mainly multiple sclerosis, along with anxiety, depression and sleep. She trained as a neuroscientist and spent more than 10 years working in epigenetics, which is how your environment, including diet, social interaction and physical activity, affects how your genes are expressed.

I said at the start that I think researchers are the original influencers. A lot of what we now know about how to live well came from people like Nupur.

What I didn't expect was how similar our stories are. Nupur got very sick while she was doing almost everything right, and it took her about 15 years to realise the missing piece was stress. My own wake-up call came from stress too. We talked through each of the eight pillars, how to make them stick, and the research she's working on now.

A quick note: this is general education, not medical advice. If you're unwell, please work with a qualified health professional.

Lesson 1: Stress can override everything else

Insight: When Nupur got sick, her diet was healthy, she was very active and she had great social connections. What she didn't see was the huge amount of stress from work. She was under pressure to achieve, wanted to be the best in a competitive field, and kept chasing her KPIs.

So she went to diet first. She went vegan and gluten-free, and at her worst, on a specialist's advice, she ate only rice and potatoes for nine months. Then, for around three to five years, only rice, potatoes, carrots, zucchini and eggplant. She saw no improvement, because she was still highly stressed. It wasn't until 2022 that she started focusing on stress through meditation and mindfulness.

My story was similar. I was a builder, running, looking healthy, but losing weight and stressed in work and relationships. At a loud restaurant in Melbourne, I lost the ability to function and woke up to paramedics ready to zap me back to life. You shouldn't need your heart to nearly stop before you change your life.

Action: Ask yourself honestly how stressed you are right now, and ask someone close to you what they've noticed. Then look at what you're doing to manage it, not just what you're eating and how you're training.

Outcome: You find the pillar you might be missing before your body forces you to.

Lesson 2: Busyness can be addictive

Insight: A friend recently told me I always seem happiest when I'm busy and chasing things. She meant it as a compliment. I don't think it is. Nupur explained that busyness feels validating. Society keeps asking what you did today, so you feel you have to justify your existence. Sitting down to rest and think about life doesn't feel acceptable.

She realised how much stress she was holding during a 10-day meditation retreat called Path of Love. She points to two books that helped her understand how the body stores stress and how you can reverse it: The Body Keeps the Score and The Myth of Normal by Dr Gabor Maté.

Action: Schedule rest the way you schedule training. Start with 10 to 15 minutes of quiet self-reflection each day.

Outcome: You give your body a chance to come out of constant go mode.

Lesson 3: Meditation doesn't have to mean sitting still

Insight: Nupur says there are more than 100 forms of meditation. To her, it's about observing your mind and learning to let go. When she started, she couldn't sit in silence without getting anxious, so she began with active meditation: Five Rhythms and Osho Dynamic Meditation, which move you through stages with music. The music almost forces you to let go. Now she also does silent meditation for three to five minutes a day, plus chanting.

For me, it's swimming without tracking it. Thoughts come up and wash away like the water over my face. Nupur's caution is that exercise can become a distraction if you're focused on results rather than letting your thoughts come and go.

Action: If sitting in silence feels impossible, try something active: a structured movement meditation, an untracked swim or walk, or breathing to music.

Outcome: You find a way into meditation that suits you, so you keep doing it.

Lesson 4: Nutrition and movement should fit your body

Insight: The research basics on nutrition are well known: minimise processed food, sugar and saturated fat. Beyond that, Nupur says to be mindful of how food makes you feel. Meat doesn't suit her body, but it might give someone else energy. I notice it after a big dessert. I feel terrible the next day, and connecting those two things helps me make better choices.

She's also against guilt. One dessert now and then isn't going to ruin your health. Every night is a different story. Nupur focuses on adding positives rather than shaming people. If you drink, try one day a week without. If you love meat, try one meat-free meal a week.

Movement works the same way. Nupur used to love weights and HIIT, but her body doesn't allow it now, so she adjusts. If you can only walk or stretch, something is better than nothing. High intensity just means getting your heart rate up, and for some people that's walking up a steep hill.

Action: For one week, jot down what you eat and how you feel the next day. Pick one small positive swap to add.

Outcome: You build an eating and movement routine that suits your body, without the guilt.

Lesson 5: Sleep needs compassion as well as habits

Insight: Nupur lives with chronic insomnia linked to anxiety, so she was honest that sleep isn't simple. When she sleeps badly, it affects her training, food choices and social life. Her strategies:

• If she can't sleep within about 15 minutes, she gets up, as many sleep specialists suggest.
• She's trying chanting meditation when she's awake at night.
• Most importantly, she's stopped judging herself for not sleeping. Accepting it has reduced the anxiety loop.

From my side, I focus on quality over duration:

• No phone, TV or other technology in the bedroom. Even face down, your brain links your phone with that hit of dopamine.
• Make the room as dark and cool as you can. A fan helps.
• Wake up at the same time each day. A light alarm, or a phone alarm outside the room, makes it harder to snooze.

Action: Move your phone out of the bedroom tonight and set a consistent wake-up time.

Outcome: Even on nights you don't get much, the sleep you do get is better quality.

Lesson 6: Feed your mind, connection and purpose

Insight: The pillars people overlook are often the hardest to see. Nupur explained them simply:

• Cognitive engagement: learn something that challenges you, ideally using both your thinking and motor skills. Nupur loves Lego and puzzles. Languages and dance count too. Once something becomes habit, it's no longer new.
• Social connection and nature: in a study of 800 university students, time in nature came up as something that reduced stress, whether that's sitting in a park, walking or hearing the ocean. Even plants in your apartment help.
• Altruism: small acts of kindness, like helping someone with their shopping bags or giving someone your time, give a sense of purpose. I'm the guy on the tram who always ends up chatting, and I try to listen without judgement.
• Spirituality: for Nupur, this isn't necessarily religion. It's trusting that something bigger is guiding you and letting go of the idea that you control the outcome.

I also mentioned that hobbies seem to be disappearing. Many of the students I talk to only have hobbies that feed their social media. A hobby doesn't need to drive you forward.

Action: Pick one: start a puzzle or learning project, spend 20 minutes in nature, or do one small act of kindness this week.

Outcome: You strengthen the pillars that protect your brain and give life meaning.

Lesson 7: Aim for at least three pillars, in small doses

Insight: Nupur and her team studied whether the effects of different lifestyle factors add up in people with MS. They found the more people did, the better their outcomes, and that people needed to work on at least three to see an effect. Diet alone wasn't enough. That matched her own recovery, which only came when she combined acupuncture for stress with diet, exercise and social connection.

But that doesn't mean doing all eight for hours each day. One of my mates time-blocked his whole day with every tip from the podcast and ended up maxed out. Nupur's advice is that a 15-minute walk at lunch, three minutes of journalling, or naming three things in the room you're grateful for all count. Build them into your day like brushing your teeth.

She's now researching a precision health app that uses AI to suggest personalised lifestyle strategies, such as the best time of day for you to work out. Importantly, she doesn't want people relying on it forever. The goal is to find the minimum time it takes for healthy behaviours to become habits. I agree. I tell clients to track calories for a while, then let go once they know it.

Action: Choose three pillars and commit to a small daily action for each over the next two weeks.

Outcome: You get the combined benefit without burning out on perfection.

Quick wins

• Take a 15-minute walk outside at lunch.
• Name three things in the room you're grateful for.
• Try one meat-free or alcohol-free day this week.
• Keep your phone out of the bedroom tonight.
• Put a plant on your desk or in your apartment.

Closing insight

The biggest lesson from this conversation is that looking healthy and being healthy aren't the same thing. Nupur and I both thought we were doing everything right. In both our cases, one pillar barely existed for us, and stress was quietly driving us harder while making us sick.

You don't need to overhaul your life. Get aware of what's working for you, be willing to adapt as life changes, and be kind to yourself on the bad days. The more pillars you can bring in, even in small ways, the better your health is likely to be. Start with one, then add the next.

Connect with Dr Nupur Nag

Find Nupur's open-access research on Google Scholar and her University of Melbourne profile, or connect on LinkedIn. She also shares videos on putting the pillars into practice on TikTok, Instagram and Facebook.

Listen to the full episode

The full conversation is on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and YouTube, or press play at the top of this page.

Related episodes: Why Healthcare Is Failing Us with Daniel Rudyak and Why Success Never Feels Like Enough with Eddie Truong