Stop Giving Advice to Your Younger Self - 2 Minute Tuesday
Stop Asking What You'd Tell Your Younger Self
A quick solo episode on why "What advice would you give your younger self?" is a terrible question, and the better one I picked up from Jon Sabes: what would your 90-year-old self tell you right now?
Flip the question and start shaping your future
TL;DR
- You can't change the past, so advice for your younger self doesn't help you now.
- Your younger self probably wouldn't listen anyway.
- Ask what your 90-year-old self would tell you today.
- Write it down and start making choices that get you there.
Introduction
This is a quick one. I tried to get it done in under two minutes. "What advice would you give your younger self?" is a really common podcast question, and I've asked it myself. But I think it's a terrible question. My guest Jon Sabes flipped it in a way that stuck with me.
Lesson 1: Advice for your younger self doesn't help
Insight: First, you can't change the past. Second, how would you even convince your younger self to listen? My 21-year-old self definitely wouldn't take advice from the 37-year-old me. He'd just tell me to shut up, old man. So even if you could send that knowledge back, it wouldn't change your present.
Action: Next time you catch yourself dwelling on what you'd do differently, bring your attention back to what you can do now.
Outcome: You spend your energy where it can make a difference.
Lesson 2: Ask your 90-year-old self instead
Insight: Jon's version is much better: what advice would your 90-year-old self give you right now? It turns a useless thought into something you can act on today. Who do you want to be at 90? What are you doing, how are you feeling and what are you achieving? Then ask what that version of you would tell you to start doing now.
Action: Take a piece of paper and write down what your 90-year-old self is doing and the advice they'd give you.
Outcome: You get a clear picture of where you're heading.
Lesson 3: Make today's choices for your future
Insight: I reckon most people never think about what they want to be doing at 90. I think about it all the time, and it's why I live the way I do. I want to make sure I end up where I want to be, not the opposite.
Action: Pick one thing from your list and start doing it this week.
Outcome: Your daily choices start lining up with your future.
Quick wins
- Stop replaying the past.
- Write a note from your 90-year-old self.
- Do one thing this week that future you would thank you for.
Closing insight
You can't go back, but you can shape where you end up. Ask your 90-year-old self what they need from you today, and start there.
Listen to the full episode
The full conversation is on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and YouTube, or press play at the top of this page.
Related episodes: Healthy, Wealthy and Living Longer With Jon Sabes and Lessons on Health, Growth and Longevity Plus Listener Q&A
Show notes
“What advice would you give your younger self?”
It’s a popular podcast question—and honestly, it’s a terrible one.
You can’t change the past. Even if you could, do you really think your younger self would listen? I know for sure my 21-year-old self wouldn’t have taken advice from the 37-year-old me. He’d probably just say, “What would you know, old man?”
So what’s the point of thinking about advice you can’t use?
Here’s a better question—one I picked up from my recent podcast guest, Jon:
What advice would your 90-year-old self give you right now?
That flips everything.
You can’t change the past, but you can shape your future.
So, take a moment and actually write it down:
- Who do you want to be at 90?
- How do you want to feel?
- What do you want your life to look like?
- And what would that future version of you tell you to start doing today?
Most people never think that far ahead.
But if you know where you want to be, you can start making choices now to get there.
I think about this all the time—and it’s exactly why I live the way I do. I’m not just focused on today or tomorrow. I’m making sure I like where I’ll end up when I’m 90.
Have you thought about it?
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